Flying is fun: Part II

OK, here's our second frequent flier question: You and your co-passengers are anxiously awaiting being served those delicious complimentary beverages and a reduced-fat-no-peanut-product-high-in-sodium-snack when an obviously inebriated gentlemen attempts to pass around the beverage cart. As all considerate fliers are aware, when the cart is in the aisle, there should be no traffic to the restroom unless you and the restroom are on the same side of the cart. Even then, you need to be cognizant of the fact that, once you exit the restroom, the cart may have moved, blocking your passage back to your no-legroom seat, you know, the one where the guy in front of you has reclined his seat so far back that having knees is no longer an option? At any rate, the point I'm trying to make is that the beverage cart is sacred and should never be disturbed except in an emergency. Now, back to our scenario. You're about to be served when this drunk jerk starts to try and move the cart out of his way. Do you:

(1) Offer to let the intoxicated gentlemen sit in your lap so the cart can back up and let him by;

(2) Rally your fellow passengers to forcibly remove the clod and toss him out of the plane at 35,000 feet;

(3) Explain to the drunk that he should have gone to the restroom earlier and that he wouldn't have to go so often if he didn't drink so much; or

(4) Keep quiet and hope that the flight attendant will bite his head off?

This is a tough one. Answer (1) assumes that the flight attendant will assist you in allowing the man to make his passage which directly conflicts with Answer (4) since it presumes that the flight attendant is more angry with this idiot than you are. Answer (2) is a jolly good answer but, unfortunately, violates most domestic, international, and (if you're flying over water) maritime laws -- not to mention the scientific laws of air pressure when you open that cabin door and all hell gets sucked out. Answer (3) is rather paternalistic and slightly condescending. As stated above, Answer (4) presumes facts not necessarily established. The correct answer is none of the above. I would recommend that you merely stick out your foot and see what fun erupts from there. There's nothing like a seeing a blabbering drunk fall face first into the aisle to turn the rote details of an otherwise routine flight into a delightful story that you may share with friends and loved ones for years to come! Bon voyage!