Gay Rights Groups Pushing for Obama on $3 Bill

In the wake of the firestorm over whether Democratic Presidential nominee Barack Obama's image should appear on the dollar bill, several gay rights groups are calling for Obama to appear on a new $3 bill. The idea surfaced when Obama claimed that Republicans were uncomfortable electing a president who didn't look like the presidents on "those dollar bills." That caused the McCain camp to accuse Obama of playing the race card. Obama then attempted to clarify his remarks by stating that Republicans are uncomfortable with him "appearing" on a dollar bill. The McCain camp countered by saying, "that's not what you said, Obama." Obama then came back with, "well, that's what I meant." The McCain campaign then issued a press release accusing Obama of being a flip-flop. Obama then called McCain an old grump who still thinks he's fighting the Viet Nam War. The two candidates were scheduled to fight it out in the schoolyard but Obama backed out, saying that beating up McCain wasn't worth the effort. McCain responded by making "buck-buck" sounds, imitating a chicken.

At any rate, the dollar bill controversy seems to have sparked a call for Obama to adorn a brand new piece of U.S. currency, a three dollar bill. The proposal has also garnered the support of the Obama campaign, which views the idea as a great publicity tool.

"Just imagine," said Anita Brane, head of the Obama for Change Committee, "We can have slogans like - 'when you spend the Obama Bill, you always get Change. Isn't that creative?"

"No," said a McCain staffer. "It's ridiculous."

Many gay rights groups have been pushing the Treasury to design a $3 bill for several years. The National United Tolerance Committee Association for a Sane Environment (NUTCASE) believes that this latest controversy may be the perfect opportunity to push the idea through.

"We just think it make sense," said Percy Fledgefoot, resident of NUTCASE. "Actually, it makes 300 cents! Hee hee! Oh my! I made a funny!"

"Jesus," said another McCain staffer. "Why us?"

Meanwhile, Obama appears to have shifted his position on off-shore oil drilling, saying he would approve the the initiative if it was included in a broader package of making America more energy self-sufficient. The McCain campaign labeled Obama's shift as yet another "flip-flop."

"He's a flip-flop," said Reid Undant, chairman of the committee to Elect John McCain in the Face of Insurmountable Odds. "He's got more flip-flops than a Miami Beach surf shop."

Obama countered Undant's remark, noting that if Republicans saw him buying flip-flops in a Miami Beach surf shop, they would be uncomfortable.

"There he goes again, playing the race card," said Undant. "The next thing he's going to say is that if Republicans saw him at NASCAR, they would be uncomfortable. That would be like playing the race-race card. Hee hee. Oh my. I made a funny!"