Daa-da-da-da da-da da-da. Daa-da-da-da da-da da-da. Yea! It's time for the Democratic Convention. Yea! Who will be the nominee? What's going to happen? Will the speeches be inspiring? Will we get goosebumps and lumps in our throats?
Hey - there's a reason the networks don't carry this stuff anymore. The convention hasn't even started and I'm already bored. What happened to using the convention to actually pick a candidate? What happened to all the suspense? We know how this story is going to end. Those reruns of Gilligan's Island aren't looking so bad.
Maybe there will be a few surprises. Maybe we'll hear about some more victims. Being a victim has become kind of synonymous with being a Democrat. You never hear the candidates sticking up for the guy who is living a comfortable life and doesn't want anyone to take it from him. You never hear the candidates applauding the enterprising businessperson who took a huge chance, risked bankruptcy and reputation, but slowly and surely became wealthy. Instead, you hear about how somebody's offended because of something some idiot said on the radio, or put on the cover of the New Yorker. You hear about a lot of stuff that doesn't matter.
You also hear a lot about people who, for some reason or another, think they are entitled to more free stuff. Now, I'm not against universal health care, but why do the candidates always talk about health care like it's some debt which is long overdue? I'm all for ending unemployment, but why do candidates talk about getting jobs for people when they don't even know if those people want those jobs? How did the Republican Party become the party of haves and the Democratic Party the party of have nots? It's the victors against the victims.
Barack Obama talks about change. Ok, nobody knows what the hell he's talking about so I'm not even going to speculate about what's going on in his head. Probably nothing other than the insatiable desire to become the first black president. In truth, "change" is one of those buzz words that you can personalize to suit any need you may have. I don't make enough money so Obama's going to change that and get me a big fat raise. I don't have affordable health insurance. Obama's going to change that and get me a medical plan. What else is he going to change? To pay for universal health care, he'd better change your taxes -- which means raising them. To get you more money, he'd better change taxes again -- which means raising them again.
I guess Obama could end the Iraq War. That would be a change that would save us some money. Then we could all hang our heads in shame cause we got our asses beat once again. First Viet Nam, now Iraq. But we got change. And we can act like victims again. See how it all works out?
If Obama gets elected, I'm sure one of two things will happen. We could get lucky, like Bill Clinton, and have another economic boom and a long period of peace. Don't think Obama can bring that -- he can't. Or we can slip into a deep and dark recession while the rest of the world tears itself to pieces. But if that happens, it will be George Bush's fault because he screwed things up so bad that even four years of Obama couldn't fix it. Of course, we can still play the victim.
Hey - there's a reason the networks don't carry this stuff anymore. The convention hasn't even started and I'm already bored. What happened to using the convention to actually pick a candidate? What happened to all the suspense? We know how this story is going to end. Those reruns of Gilligan's Island aren't looking so bad.
Maybe there will be a few surprises. Maybe we'll hear about some more victims. Being a victim has become kind of synonymous with being a Democrat. You never hear the candidates sticking up for the guy who is living a comfortable life and doesn't want anyone to take it from him. You never hear the candidates applauding the enterprising businessperson who took a huge chance, risked bankruptcy and reputation, but slowly and surely became wealthy. Instead, you hear about how somebody's offended because of something some idiot said on the radio, or put on the cover of the New Yorker. You hear about a lot of stuff that doesn't matter.
You also hear a lot about people who, for some reason or another, think they are entitled to more free stuff. Now, I'm not against universal health care, but why do the candidates always talk about health care like it's some debt which is long overdue? I'm all for ending unemployment, but why do candidates talk about getting jobs for people when they don't even know if those people want those jobs? How did the Republican Party become the party of haves and the Democratic Party the party of have nots? It's the victors against the victims.
Barack Obama talks about change. Ok, nobody knows what the hell he's talking about so I'm not even going to speculate about what's going on in his head. Probably nothing other than the insatiable desire to become the first black president. In truth, "change" is one of those buzz words that you can personalize to suit any need you may have. I don't make enough money so Obama's going to change that and get me a big fat raise. I don't have affordable health insurance. Obama's going to change that and get me a medical plan. What else is he going to change? To pay for universal health care, he'd better change your taxes -- which means raising them. To get you more money, he'd better change taxes again -- which means raising them again.
I guess Obama could end the Iraq War. That would be a change that would save us some money. Then we could all hang our heads in shame cause we got our asses beat once again. First Viet Nam, now Iraq. But we got change. And we can act like victims again. See how it all works out?
If Obama gets elected, I'm sure one of two things will happen. We could get lucky, like Bill Clinton, and have another economic boom and a long period of peace. Don't think Obama can bring that -- he can't. Or we can slip into a deep and dark recession while the rest of the world tears itself to pieces. But if that happens, it will be George Bush's fault because he screwed things up so bad that even four years of Obama couldn't fix it. Of course, we can still play the victim.
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