In the few short days since her rousing speech during which she mercilessly pelted Barack Obama with sarcastic jabs and insults, Alaska Governor and GOP VP hopeful Sarah Palin has unleashed a flurry of attacks on her running mate's opponant, and last night, to the shock and horror of many Obama supporters, she followed up her offensive by subjecting the Democratic nominee to an embarrassing "atomic" wedgie.
Palin and Obama were both scheduled to speak at Venice Beach yesterday when their respective campaign staffs clashed and began trading accusations that each are guilty of spreading lies about the other's candidates.
When an Obama campaign staffer accused Palin of being out of touch with the American people, Palin kicked sand in his face and then headed for the Democratic nominee, treating him to a painful and embarassing atomic wedgie.
"This will teach you to mess around with a hockey mom," said Palin while violently yanking on Obama's boxer shorts. "You want to know the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? Lipstick!"
Obama, a graduate of Harvard Law, attempted to argue his way out of the wedgie, but Palin was unrelenting. Eventually, with his boxers raised up over his head, Obama screamed out "uncle" and Palin loosened her grip.
The incident followed an earlier confrontation between Palin and Obama's running mate, Senator Joseph Biden. During that incident, Palin allegedly mussed Biden's hair, which caused the Democtratic VP to start running in the opposite direction.
"Joe is pretty sensitive about his hair," said Obama. "What Sarah did was unfortunate."
"I'll pull every little hair out of that fake tanned head if I have to," screamed Palin. "He should know better than to mess with a hockey mom. You want to know the only difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull. Lipstick!"
Since being named as McCain's running mate, sources say Palin has been tasked with doing all her running mate's "dirty work." During her debut speech, she berated and ridiculed Obama, claiming that his promise of "change" is nothing more than a self promotion gimmick. Since that speech, Palin has remained on the offensive, accusing the candidate of spreading lies and rumors about her family.
"I'm going to show him that he's messing with the wrong person. I'm a hockey mom. You want to know the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? Lipstick!"
Meanwhile, Senator Joe Biden responded to the attacks by stealing quotes from various statemsmen.
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself," he said. "This day is one that will live in infamy. The buck stops here."
Biden says he is compiling his memoirs of the campaign and will be releasing them in book form just prior to the election. His book will be titled, "Profiles in Courage." Biden is also working on several novels. One is about a Russian student who commits a heinous double murder. Another is a story about an adultress who is forced to wear a red "A".
"I shall return," said Biden as he frantically ran away in search of a comb.
Though the respective campaign staffs are still arguing over the severity of the wedgie, most agree that Palin lifted Obama's undershorts at least a foot over his head. An atomic wedgie normally requires that the person giving the wedgie lift the outer waistband over the recipients head but no particular height is specified.
"Did I lift it 12 inches or 13?" said Gov. Palin. "You know, in all the excitement, I sort of lost count. But you got to ask yourself -- do you want to mess with a hockey mom? Do you want to mess with someone who is just like a pit bull except for one difference --lipstick? Well, do ya punk?"
Palin and Obama were both scheduled to speak at Venice Beach yesterday when their respective campaign staffs clashed and began trading accusations that each are guilty of spreading lies about the other's candidates.
When an Obama campaign staffer accused Palin of being out of touch with the American people, Palin kicked sand in his face and then headed for the Democratic nominee, treating him to a painful and embarassing atomic wedgie.
"This will teach you to mess around with a hockey mom," said Palin while violently yanking on Obama's boxer shorts. "You want to know the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? Lipstick!"
Obama, a graduate of Harvard Law, attempted to argue his way out of the wedgie, but Palin was unrelenting. Eventually, with his boxers raised up over his head, Obama screamed out "uncle" and Palin loosened her grip.
The incident followed an earlier confrontation between Palin and Obama's running mate, Senator Joseph Biden. During that incident, Palin allegedly mussed Biden's hair, which caused the Democtratic VP to start running in the opposite direction.
"Joe is pretty sensitive about his hair," said Obama. "What Sarah did was unfortunate."
"I'll pull every little hair out of that fake tanned head if I have to," screamed Palin. "He should know better than to mess with a hockey mom. You want to know the only difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull. Lipstick!"
Since being named as McCain's running mate, sources say Palin has been tasked with doing all her running mate's "dirty work." During her debut speech, she berated and ridiculed Obama, claiming that his promise of "change" is nothing more than a self promotion gimmick. Since that speech, Palin has remained on the offensive, accusing the candidate of spreading lies and rumors about her family.
"I'm going to show him that he's messing with the wrong person. I'm a hockey mom. You want to know the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? Lipstick!"
Meanwhile, Senator Joe Biden responded to the attacks by stealing quotes from various statemsmen.
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself," he said. "This day is one that will live in infamy. The buck stops here."
Biden says he is compiling his memoirs of the campaign and will be releasing them in book form just prior to the election. His book will be titled, "Profiles in Courage." Biden is also working on several novels. One is about a Russian student who commits a heinous double murder. Another is a story about an adultress who is forced to wear a red "A".
"I shall return," said Biden as he frantically ran away in search of a comb.
Though the respective campaign staffs are still arguing over the severity of the wedgie, most agree that Palin lifted Obama's undershorts at least a foot over his head. An atomic wedgie normally requires that the person giving the wedgie lift the outer waistband over the recipients head but no particular height is specified.
"Did I lift it 12 inches or 13?" said Gov. Palin. "You know, in all the excitement, I sort of lost count. But you got to ask yourself -- do you want to mess with a hockey mom? Do you want to mess with someone who is just like a pit bull except for one difference --lipstick? Well, do ya punk?"
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