Monday, September 1, 2008

Republican Convention Kicks Off; McCain Demonstrates American Muscle


As the Republicans finally took the stage to officially name their candidate, the presumptive nominee, Senator John McCain, drew cheers and a few jeers with his unorthodox demonstration of American military might. Grabbing a small child in the audience, McCain compared the child to all the countries in the Middle East, then proceeded to nearly strangle the child as a way of demonstrating America's will to win.

"All the countries in that region together are no more powerful than this little boy," said McCain. "And still, look what happens when I grab them with my one good arm."

Initially, the crowd cheered McCain until it became obvious that the little boy was turning blue. McCain finally let go when many in the audience called on him to put the child down.

"You see, that's exactly what the Democrats want me to do," said McCain. "They want me to unleash my grip. Well, my friends, I'm not going to do that."

The boy's parents say they are not upset with McCain for nearly strangling their son.

"We voted for George Bush and we'll support John McCain and the Iraq War. If he needs to sacrifice our son for the good of the nation, we understand."

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