As the stock market sank to new lows yesterday, Democrats convened to formulate plans to blame the Republicans for everything that has gone wrong. Following a closed door session, Senate and House Democrats proposed HR 911, which formally blames Republicans for all of the nation's ills.
"This historic legislation will send a clear message that the GOP is responsible for everything that is bad, even stuff that hasn't happened yet," said Rep. Barney Frank.
"Our nation is a mess and the time has come to point some serious fingers," said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. "By blaming the Republicans, we may solve nothing, but at least we say, 'hey, don't look at me!"
GOP countered by stressing that Democrats have controlled both houses of Congress for two years, yet did nothing to offset the current fiscal collapse. In fact, GOP officials say, when Democrats won the majority, the stock market was near an all time high.
"So what?" said Pelosi. "George Bush was president and he said the economy was doing well. We took him at his word and he lied to us. He's a liar. Liar! Hopefully HR 911 will convince the American people that all the blame belongs on the other side of the aisle."
During a press briefing in Crawford, Texas, the first of the year, President Bush responded to his Democratic critics with utter puzzlement.
"The economy was doing well," countered Bush. "Whadya want me to say -- the stock market is going gangbusters and 'boy does that suck'? Give me a break."
Democrats say they were misled by Bush and other GOP officials.
"We innocent Democrats had no idea that the housing market would crash," said Rep. Frank. "Real estate was a good investment. Everything seemed to be doing well. Prices were rising. The Republicans tricked us on the economy, they tricked us on the Iraq War! They tricked people into taking out loans they couldn't pay back. They're a bunch of trickers!"
Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama says HR 911 is just one of many "blaming" resolutions that he would support as President. Obama says, if elected, he will create a new cabinet called the Department of Blaming and Finger Pointing.
"It's important that we focus our energies on identifying a demon and pointing our finger at him," said Obama. "It's a helluva lot easier than coming up with real solutions. As president, I will appoint a Secretary of Blaming who will oversee this department which will be responsible for blaming all the problems on Republicans. In fact, the department will feature a 'Blameworthy Republican of the Month' whom we can boo and throw tomatoes at when he or she comes into the gallery."
Obama also took the opportunity to gloat over the current economic crisis.
"You see, I told them so. I didn't do anything about it but I told them so."
Obama was asked why congressional democrats also failed to act to prevent the current fiscal collapse. He pointed the finger at his rival, GOP Nominee John McCain.
"John McCain has been secretly undermining the economy in order to steal, cheat and murder. He's George Bush's Vladamir Putin. He's been taking money out of the financial markets and using it to fund the war in Iraq. Just like Reagan. They're all corrupt. I'm perfect."
Democrats admit privately that they've been hoping the economy would get to this point. Some even admit they held off on legislation that would have prevented the current collapse in order to make the situation appear as dire as possible.
"It was a strategic decision," said Rep. Pelosi. "We knew we could take back the presidency if we let the situation get really bad. Now it's terrible and we're going to win. Life is good!"
"This historic legislation will send a clear message that the GOP is responsible for everything that is bad, even stuff that hasn't happened yet," said Rep. Barney Frank.
"Our nation is a mess and the time has come to point some serious fingers," said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. "By blaming the Republicans, we may solve nothing, but at least we say, 'hey, don't look at me!"
GOP countered by stressing that Democrats have controlled both houses of Congress for two years, yet did nothing to offset the current fiscal collapse. In fact, GOP officials say, when Democrats won the majority, the stock market was near an all time high.
"So what?" said Pelosi. "George Bush was president and he said the economy was doing well. We took him at his word and he lied to us. He's a liar. Liar! Hopefully HR 911 will convince the American people that all the blame belongs on the other side of the aisle."
During a press briefing in Crawford, Texas, the first of the year, President Bush responded to his Democratic critics with utter puzzlement.
"The economy was doing well," countered Bush. "Whadya want me to say -- the stock market is going gangbusters and 'boy does that suck'? Give me a break."
Democrats say they were misled by Bush and other GOP officials.
"We innocent Democrats had no idea that the housing market would crash," said Rep. Frank. "Real estate was a good investment. Everything seemed to be doing well. Prices were rising. The Republicans tricked us on the economy, they tricked us on the Iraq War! They tricked people into taking out loans they couldn't pay back. They're a bunch of trickers!"
Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama says HR 911 is just one of many "blaming" resolutions that he would support as President. Obama says, if elected, he will create a new cabinet called the Department of Blaming and Finger Pointing.
"It's important that we focus our energies on identifying a demon and pointing our finger at him," said Obama. "It's a helluva lot easier than coming up with real solutions. As president, I will appoint a Secretary of Blaming who will oversee this department which will be responsible for blaming all the problems on Republicans. In fact, the department will feature a 'Blameworthy Republican of the Month' whom we can boo and throw tomatoes at when he or she comes into the gallery."
Obama also took the opportunity to gloat over the current economic crisis.
"You see, I told them so. I didn't do anything about it but I told them so."
Obama was asked why congressional democrats also failed to act to prevent the current fiscal collapse. He pointed the finger at his rival, GOP Nominee John McCain.
"John McCain has been secretly undermining the economy in order to steal, cheat and murder. He's George Bush's Vladamir Putin. He's been taking money out of the financial markets and using it to fund the war in Iraq. Just like Reagan. They're all corrupt. I'm perfect."
Democrats admit privately that they've been hoping the economy would get to this point. Some even admit they held off on legislation that would have prevented the current collapse in order to make the situation appear as dire as possible.
"It was a strategic decision," said Rep. Pelosi. "We knew we could take back the presidency if we let the situation get really bad. Now it's terrible and we're going to win. Life is good!"
No comments:
Post a Comment