Presumptive Democratic Nominee Barack Obama is reportedly tired and extremely cranky after his whirlwind tour of the Middle East and Europe. On several occasions, observers say, Obama burst into tears and became extremely fussy and uncooperative.
Though campaign staffers say Obama simply needs a nap, experts believe he actually suffered from severe culture shock during his Mideast and European jaunts. For instance, the candidate was quite shocked to learn that most of the peoples' he visisted did not speak English.
"Speaking through a translator was difficult for him," said one campaign staffer. "His smart-aleck comebacks just don't have the same effect when someone has to repeat them in two or three different languages."
Obama was also frustrated during his meetings with Israeli and Palestinian leaders. Though he promised to guarantee Israel's security, he also promised a viable Palestinian State which includes giving back territory to the Palestinians.
"I think we can work out a solution by which Israel can remain safely surrounded by neighbors that continuously work toward and plot its eventual obliteration," said the candidate to a group of hard line Israelis who erupted in hysterical laughter.
"This guy cracks me up," said Hyman Rothschild, a native New Yorker who moved to Israel 20 years ago. "He should get his own HBO special!"
Obama also reiterated his call for withdrawing troops from Iraq while bolstering America's presence in Afghanistan.
"We need to keep pursuing Osama Bin Laden," he announced in Paris while standing in front of a a statue of Inspector Javert, the character from Victor Hugo's Les Miserables who endlessly pursues Jean Valjean. "We must search for him and bring him to justice."
In Germany, Obama was also hoping to make a big impression with a moving speech similar to those delivered by presidents Kennedy and Reagan. However, according to staffers, all the good lines were taken.
"First, he wanted to say 'I am a citizen of Berlin' but that had already been used," said one staffer. "Then, he wanted to call on Gorbachev to 'tear down this wall' but the wall was torn down almost 20 years ago and Gorbachev doesn't even live in Russia anymore. Finally, we settled on something that the Germans would appreciate."
"You guys make great beer," Obama proclaimed, standing in front of the Hofbrau House in Munich. "And sausages, too!"
Unfortunately, the trip took a disastrous turn when Obama reached Paris, where he realized that the French had lost interest in him. Particularly shocking was the fact that he failed to make the cover of the popular French magazine, Paris Match, which featured French President Nicholas Sarkozy and his new bride, Carla Bruni, a former fashion model.
"I wanna be on tha cub-ber," cried the candidate. "Why can't I be on tha cub-ber? Waaaaah!"
Obama was also criticized for his continued use of gimmicky backdrops from which to hold news conferences. During one particular event in Jordan, for instance, he stood in front of a statute of Hercules.
"I guess he was trying to show he is strong," said one Obama critic. "But in truth, Hercules could kick his ass. Maybe he should hold an event in front of the statue of Ethelred the Unready, Simon the Waffler, or Frankie Flip-Flop."
Obama was hoping that this trip would demonstrate his command of foreign policy. Both he and John McCain have been criticized for their recent gaffes. After McCain made several references to Czechoslovakia, a country which no longer exists, Obama spoke about the "President of Canada." Canada, he learned later, does not have a president.
"I want Americans to know that I understand this world -- the entire world. We are the greatest planet in the universe -- better than Mars, the moon, or even the Sun."
Though campaign staffers say Obama simply needs a nap, experts believe he actually suffered from severe culture shock during his Mideast and European jaunts. For instance, the candidate was quite shocked to learn that most of the peoples' he visisted did not speak English.
"Speaking through a translator was difficult for him," said one campaign staffer. "His smart-aleck comebacks just don't have the same effect when someone has to repeat them in two or three different languages."
Obama was also frustrated during his meetings with Israeli and Palestinian leaders. Though he promised to guarantee Israel's security, he also promised a viable Palestinian State which includes giving back territory to the Palestinians.
"I think we can work out a solution by which Israel can remain safely surrounded by neighbors that continuously work toward and plot its eventual obliteration," said the candidate to a group of hard line Israelis who erupted in hysterical laughter.
"This guy cracks me up," said Hyman Rothschild, a native New Yorker who moved to Israel 20 years ago. "He should get his own HBO special!"
Obama also reiterated his call for withdrawing troops from Iraq while bolstering America's presence in Afghanistan.
"We need to keep pursuing Osama Bin Laden," he announced in Paris while standing in front of a a statue of Inspector Javert, the character from Victor Hugo's Les Miserables who endlessly pursues Jean Valjean. "We must search for him and bring him to justice."
In Germany, Obama was also hoping to make a big impression with a moving speech similar to those delivered by presidents Kennedy and Reagan. However, according to staffers, all the good lines were taken.
"First, he wanted to say 'I am a citizen of Berlin' but that had already been used," said one staffer. "Then, he wanted to call on Gorbachev to 'tear down this wall' but the wall was torn down almost 20 years ago and Gorbachev doesn't even live in Russia anymore. Finally, we settled on something that the Germans would appreciate."
"You guys make great beer," Obama proclaimed, standing in front of the Hofbrau House in Munich. "And sausages, too!"
Unfortunately, the trip took a disastrous turn when Obama reached Paris, where he realized that the French had lost interest in him. Particularly shocking was the fact that he failed to make the cover of the popular French magazine, Paris Match, which featured French President Nicholas Sarkozy and his new bride, Carla Bruni, a former fashion model.
"I wanna be on tha cub-ber," cried the candidate. "Why can't I be on tha cub-ber? Waaaaah!"
Obama was also criticized for his continued use of gimmicky backdrops from which to hold news conferences. During one particular event in Jordan, for instance, he stood in front of a statute of Hercules.
"I guess he was trying to show he is strong," said one Obama critic. "But in truth, Hercules could kick his ass. Maybe he should hold an event in front of the statue of Ethelred the Unready, Simon the Waffler, or Frankie Flip-Flop."
Obama was hoping that this trip would demonstrate his command of foreign policy. Both he and John McCain have been criticized for their recent gaffes. After McCain made several references to Czechoslovakia, a country which no longer exists, Obama spoke about the "President of Canada." Canada, he learned later, does not have a president.
"I want Americans to know that I understand this world -- the entire world. We are the greatest planet in the universe -- better than Mars, the moon, or even the Sun."
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