After all the hullaballoo over our 1st Annual Swimsuit issue, Imbecile Magazine has decided to reconsider its initial reaction to the plethora of criticism we received. Originally, we responded to all the high strung, hysterial femma-Nazis' nasty letters with sophmoric, smart aleck retorts that completely failed to address of any of the arguments included in the letters.
Since then, we've taken a deep breath and a step back -- to discover the root of all this undeserved and misdirected criticism. All those letters we received from all those ugly, frustrated, frigid, over-the-hill spinsters who will never get a date (much less get married) are simply symptoms of too many years of pent up, but obviously still somewhat raging hormones.
Yes, the bitter old ladies who call us sexist are just sending out a coded cry for help -- begging for someone to come along and fulfill their deepest of desires. They haven't had any for so long (maybe their never had any at all), they're just channeling their anger at those sensational hotties who bare it all for the camera so the best of us can enjoy some good old healthy American fun!
But don't worry, aunties. You've a big surprise coming!
Since then, we've taken a deep breath and a step back -- to discover the root of all this undeserved and misdirected criticism. All those letters we received from all those ugly, frustrated, frigid, over-the-hill spinsters who will never get a date (much less get married) are simply symptoms of too many years of pent up, but obviously still somewhat raging hormones.
Yes, the bitter old ladies who call us sexist are just sending out a coded cry for help -- begging for someone to come along and fulfill their deepest of desires. They haven't had any for so long (maybe their never had any at all), they're just channeling their anger at those sensational hotties who bare it all for the camera so the best of us can enjoy some good old healthy American fun!
But don't worry, aunties. You've a big surprise coming!
Check back Monday for the shock of your life!!! Hoo-ah!
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