As this campaign winds down, we realize that, more than ever, this is the time for hope and change. Many of us really hope that change will come. And we hope that change will bring us hope. For the last eight years, we haven't seen much change. We've only seen the most devastating terrorist attack on our country in history. We've only gotten into two prolonged wars. Our economy has only completely flip-flopped, the dollar has only dropped like a rock, and the prices of everything from gasoline to bread have only soared. Ho-hum. Where's the change?
This is why we need a leader who promises change. Not spare change. That's what the middle class tax cuts were for. We need real change. We need change that we can hang our hope on on. We need change that brings us hope, and hope that brings us change.
Many people ask: what do you mean by change? That's not important right now. One thing at a time. The point is, we need change and we need it now. To quote David Bowie: "Cha-cha-cha-changes!" That's what we need! Now you got it!
Once our nominee is chosen, a running mate must be picked. I support Chauncey Gardiner. He is the only person with the experience to handle change. Every year, Chauncey has been out in the garden dealing with Spring, Summer, Fall and even Winter. Talk about change! He has to deal with change and then some.
Chauncey is also an excellent choice because he speaks in specifics, and that will be a real complement to the nominee. Chauncey says, "Yes! There will be growth in the spring!" There you go! In one short sentence, we get hope and change! As you can see, Chauncey also understands this economy. "As long as the roots are not severed," he assures us, "all is well. And all will be well in the 'garden.'" Well, Chaunce, you take care of our "garden" and we'll take care of you!
How refreshing! This is why I support change and hope. But most of all, I support a man who has experience with change and hope. Chauncey Gardiner!
Ms. M.T. Head
The Other Side
Change and hope are ok if you're really in a fix. I was in a marriage so bad that, after it was finally over, I'd date practically anyone. I figured no one could be worse than this broad. She bled me dry. And nag? That's all she did. Do this! Do that! You messed up again! You're a loser! Make more money! I want a new fur coat! I hate our house! When are we going to get a better car?
Finally I told her, SHUT UP!!!!! I couldn't take it anymore. I was ready for a change, any change. And I was hoping that something would change, and fast. As a result, I found this mail order bride and she convinced me to bring over her entire family. Once I did that, she changed the locks on my house and accused me of domestic violence. So that was a change. But not the kind I was hoping for.
Once I got divorced from the mail order bride, her brothers came over to my one room studio apartment (they got the house) and beat the living hell out of me. They blackened my eyes so bad I couldn't even go to work. I guess they accepted her side of the story without question. Since they didn't speak English, I had only limited opportunities to plead my case before they knocked every one of my teeth out.
So I got totally screwed twice. And HOW! But I can't say that I didn't get my fair share of change. You won't hear me complaining about a lack of change. Or hope. Right now, for instance, I'm hoping that these bankruptcy proceedings go well and I can at least keep my clothes. My first ex-wife already got half of everything I owned. The second ex-wife is probably going to get the other half. Her brothers will probably beat me to a pulp at least one more time before we finally part company.
So who do I want for President? I want the candidate who is going to solve all my problems. I want the candidate who is going to say, "hey, Mr. Twice-Divorced-Almost-Broke-Toothless-Loser -- you are a victim and I'm going to stick up for you and your kind. I'm going to have compassion for you and fix the mess you got yourself into."
For me, I would like a candidate that is strong on immigration. Especially strong on those mail order brides who convince you to bring over their entire family, then kick you out of the house, then accuse you of domestic violence. I would like to see something done about that. That lady tricked me into thinking she loved me. Then she screwed me over AND HOW!
As for Chauncey Gardiner. I don't know who that is. But if he can help me out of these fixes I'm in, that would be a welcome change.
Mr. Ira Gretitall
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