FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE.
URACLOD is excited to announce an exciting new adventure that is sure to excite all the already excitable URACLOD readers who are constantly looking for more excitement. Today, URACLOD executives unveiled the June 2008 cover of IMBECILE MAGAZINE, a publication for and about imbeciles all over the world. IMBECILE is the only magazine totally geared to the imbecile, whether the topic is fashion, employment, social interaction, trends, or current affairs. According to IMBECILE publisher Bill Oni, IMBECILE looks at every story from the perspective of the imbecile, providing a fresh perspective "that only a true imbecile can appreciate."
"Our June issue sets the stage for the excitement that will follow," said Oni. "We start off with a big fashion spread on the hottest trend in imbecile fashion -- the saggy hip-hop jeans, giant underpants, and too big t-shirt."
Oni says the June issue will also feature an indepth article on imbeciles and jackasses, examining whether any differences exist between the two lifestyles.
"A jackass is usually a person who attempts dangerous stunts, seeking attention. He can also be someone who does inconsiderate or outrageous things, thinking that his friends will think he's daring and funny," said Oni. "Imbeciles and jackasses, as our story reveals, share many of same traits."
The June issue also provides some fresh insight into imbeciles who drive around with their music blasting out of their car windows and yell "wooooo" at attractive women.
Oni says IMBECILE readers will be happy to discover some great interview tips for finding employment in the fast food industry.
"We found out that fast food establishments, even some Starbucks, actively recruit our target audience. However, there's a lot of competition and everyone could use a few words of advice," said Oni.
Finally, the June issue concludes with a thoughtful poem penned by Harry Wang and titled "Why No One Likes You." Here's a brief excerpt:
"Yesday, I got nother ring in my lip
It got tangled in a girlz sweater
She start wiggin
But her booty was sweeeeeet
I said, 'yo' whatz yo number?
She lookd at me sidewayz
Sorry, she say, but I don't date
Losers, jackasses or geeks"
For now, Imbecile Magazine is only available online. However, Oni says the publisher is considering a paper version.
"Historically," said Oni. "imbeciles wouldn't pick up a magazine unless the words 'Juggs' or 'Barely Legal' were on the cover. We're trying to change that."
Though Oni won't reveal the contents of the July issue, he says IMBECILE's reporters are working hard to score a big celebrity interview. Possible interview subjects include Steve O, Flavor Flav, and Gene Simmons.
"This magazine is long overdue," says Oni. "2008 is definitely going to be the year of the imbecile."
[Tomorrow: Exclusive look at the imbeciles who drive around in their pimped out cars with the windows open and their car stereos blasting nothing but throbbing bass notes]
"Our June issue sets the stage for the excitement that will follow," said Oni. "We start off with a big fashion spread on the hottest trend in imbecile fashion -- the saggy hip-hop jeans, giant underpants, and too big t-shirt."
Oni says the June issue will also feature an indepth article on imbeciles and jackasses, examining whether any differences exist between the two lifestyles.
"A jackass is usually a person who attempts dangerous stunts, seeking attention. He can also be someone who does inconsiderate or outrageous things, thinking that his friends will think he's daring and funny," said Oni. "Imbeciles and jackasses, as our story reveals, share many of same traits."
The June issue also provides some fresh insight into imbeciles who drive around with their music blasting out of their car windows and yell "wooooo" at attractive women.
Oni says IMBECILE readers will be happy to discover some great interview tips for finding employment in the fast food industry.
"We found out that fast food establishments, even some Starbucks, actively recruit our target audience. However, there's a lot of competition and everyone could use a few words of advice," said Oni.
Finally, the June issue concludes with a thoughtful poem penned by Harry Wang and titled "Why No One Likes You." Here's a brief excerpt:
"Yesday, I got nother ring in my lip
It got tangled in a girlz sweater
She start wiggin
But her booty was sweeeeeet
I said, 'yo' whatz yo number?
She lookd at me sidewayz
Sorry, she say, but I don't date
Losers, jackasses or geeks"
For now, Imbecile Magazine is only available online. However, Oni says the publisher is considering a paper version.
"Historically," said Oni. "imbeciles wouldn't pick up a magazine unless the words 'Juggs' or 'Barely Legal' were on the cover. We're trying to change that."
Though Oni won't reveal the contents of the July issue, he says IMBECILE's reporters are working hard to score a big celebrity interview. Possible interview subjects include Steve O, Flavor Flav, and Gene Simmons.
"This magazine is long overdue," says Oni. "2008 is definitely going to be the year of the imbecile."
[Tomorrow: Exclusive look at the imbeciles who drive around in their pimped out cars with the windows open and their car stereos blasting nothing but throbbing bass notes]
No comments:
Post a Comment