And the winner is....

First of all, let me say how overwhelmed I am by the participation in "Flying is Fun" Question No. 4. Your responses exceeded my lowest of expectations. I must admit I was a little taken aback by the tone of some of the "write-in" votes. I'm not sure what J. Gomez was thinking when he or she suggested that they throw the little bugger in one of the jet engines and grind him all up. Ouch!
If you recall, the question was as follows: You're on a long flight, you're miserable, everyone, including the airline, has been treating you like poo, and now some kid figures out he can climb up on the tray table in the seat behind you, reach over your seat, and poke you one in the eye! I merely asked: What should you do in this situation? As seen above, I suggested that you could (a) tie him up and stick him in the smelly water closet until the plane lands; (b) give him the spanking that his parents would never dare attempt to give him; (c) stuff him up in the overhead bin; and (d) toss him out of the jet at 35,000 glorious feet.

Unfortunately, this was a trick question. Had many of you read the selections carefully (and a few of you did, so Bravo! to you) you would have understood that all the selections (except for the spanking) are contrary to every moral and legal principle in this country and most other countries. In fact, I think spanking is also illegal in the U.S. and if it isn't, I sure some shyster lawyer can figure out how to sue the parents. So, sadly, none of the answers is correct. Instead, the only possible solution to this problem (not really a solution if you ask me) is to give the little creep a "Video Time-Out." Now, don't confuse this with an actual "Time-Out" where you send the kid to the corner to think about his crimes. That is just too harsh in this day and age and could lead to lowered self esteem. A "Video Time-Out" requires only that you divert the brat's attention away from making you miserable by giving him a state of the art video game console (stocked full of his favorite games) to keep him busy until you land. This will really get the message across that YOU MEAN BUSINESS!

So, contest-fans, see the correct answer at the top of the post! One good thing about "Video Time Outs" or VTOs, is that the kids don't move around much and they tend to eat a lot of unhealthy snacks while they remain glued to the TV screen. That's ok. Eventually, this little rotten apple will be so rotund he'll completely lose the ability (and energy) to climb up on that tray table, reach over your seat, and take a swipe at your left eye. So, it really works out for you in the long run!

Thanks for all your support and God bless everyone except those in First and Business Class.