Newly Discovered Fake Photos Reveal Airline's Diabolical Thought Process

[Doctored photo published in Insult Airlines' monthly magazine: "Let the Insults Begin!"]

[Actual photograph taken with passenger's camera phone]

Just one week after allegations surfaced that Insult Airlines used a digitally manipulated photograph to promote its "Toilet Class" seating accommodations, a second "doctored" photo has surfaced which industry experts say is nothing short of "obscene."

The latest altered image, published in this month's edition of Insult Airlines' monthly magazine: "Let the Insults Begin," sheds even more light on the diabolical methods Insult Airlines employed to mislead its customers about its new "Toilet Class" service. The photo, which was one of several doctored by an employee in the Insult Airlines art department, depicts three passengers with smiley faces pasted on their shoulders. The photo is reportedly an attempt to convince the public that the three individuals were actually enjoying their flight from San Francisco to Amsterdam, despite the fact that their assigned seats were located in the Coach-Class restroom.

The latest photo is the second to surface since Insult Air released a similar photo showing only two passengers sporting huge smiles while seated in "Toilet Class." That photo, experts say, was also a fraud.

"Apparently, the airline had graphic artists working around the clock to defraud the public and sell tickets to this horror show," said John D. Lay, an airline industry analyst. "But this latest photo is beyond ridiculous."

The photograph scandal, which has been come to be known as "PhotoshopGate," was revealed when an Insult Air passenger released a similar photograph taken with her camera phone. Unlike the promotional photo (top), the passenger's photo (below) depicted three uncomfortable, highly distressed, passengers seated next to the Coach-Class restroom commode. As that photo was being taken, a severely airsick passenger was also apparently vomiting and making a huge mess on the restroom floor.

"We thought we were gonna die, Dude," said one passenger. "The smell was totally gnarley. I'm just glad to be in Amsterdam where we can forget about it and shmoke shom weed."

Up until recently, Insult Airlines has refused to comment on the scandal. However, late last night, company spokesman Kurt Reply announced that the airline is conducting its own investigation into charges of photoshop abuse.

"In our opinion, the camera phone photo appears to be the fraudulent one," said Reply. "As you can plainly see, the young woman is merely on her knees because she's searching for a lost diamond which she obviously stole from someone in First Class."

Though Insult Airlines normally treats its Coach-Class passengers like the worst scum on earth, it has gained a worldwide reputation for treating its First Class passengers like Kings and Queens.

"Each passenger gets a king size bed, a jewelled crown, and a thrown made of blue diamonds," said Reply. "I guess the lady in the picture stole a jewel from one of the crowns up in First Class and then lost it in the restroom. Serves her right!"

Asked to explain the passengers' obvious sick faces and the apparent pools of vomit on the restroom floor, Reply said the airline is preparing a response which it will issue shortly.

"Obviously, the lady was drinking some bizarre cocktail and spilled it when she dropped the stolen diamond. The guys faces are actually painted because, you know -- they're weirdos. Weirdos do stuff like that."

Photographic experts have also noted, with respect to the magazine photo, that the three passengers' faces appear to have been replaced with smiley faces. Reply said that allegation is "a lie."

"Ok, I admit they look alike, said Reply. "But they're probably related. They are obviously identical triplets. Next question?"

"Photoshopgate" is the latest controversy involving the controversial airline, which has vowed to cram more passengers aboard its jets than any other airline. Insult Air has tried to divert attention away from the scandal by focusing on accusations it recently made against a competitor, Nutsobad Air. Insult has alleged that Nutsobad's CEO, Oliver Klozov, made death and kidnap threats against Insult Air's CEO Haigh Lee Ahphended when he compared Ahphended to Charges Lindbergh, whose child was kidnapped and murdered in 1932. Though Ahphended stated that he did not believe that Klozov intended any harm, Ahphended again said today he considered the remarks "unfortunate" and that he understood why so many people still considered Klozov to be a kidnapper and murderer.

"It's going to take the public a long time to come around and forgive Mr. Klozov for his unfortunate remarks," said Ahphended. "I suspect the whole thing will be completely forgotten sometime after the busy holiday travel season on Labor Day weekend. The country needs time to heal."