Flying is Fun but Jail is NOT!

Hold on a minute! Since last week, you've been trying to decide how best to deal with that rotten little stinker who climbed up on the tray table and poked you in the eye. Do you tie him up and lock him in the ghastly, stench filled aircraft restroom? Do you give him the spanking of his life (the ONLY spanking of his life, I'll wager)? Do you stuff him up in the overhead bin? Or do you you simply kick him out of the plane and let him free fall 35,000 feet? To be honest, I don't know what sicko came up with these suggestions but if we're going to play the game, let's do so intelligently. The best way to proceed is to think about the consequences of each of these choices.
If we stick him in the restroom, he's going to be exposed to that wonderful airplane restroom smell for at least six hours. Now, I'm not talking about the rest room in Business and First Class. That place smells like heaven. I'm talking about the fetid, foul, filthy polluted water closet reserved for the 200 plus peasants who have to fly coach.

The problem here is, that smell will turn you green within minutes. And poor little junior just had a Happy Meal at the Airport McDonalds. Do we really want to find him in a pool of his own pre-digested fast food? I don't know. Sounds gross to me.
Choice No. 2 was to give him a good spanking. But experts say this can lead to lowered self esteem. And we all know what happens when a kid loses his sense of absolute superiority, don't we? He becomes a violent criminal. At least that's what the defense psychologist says whenever he or she is called to testify on behalf of some serial killer. So, is spanking a wise option? Think about it!

I don't know if you can really stuff a kid in the overhead bin but nine out of ten rageaholics would probably choose this option. It's fast. It's easy. And it really makes your point. Chances are, however, that it probably violates all those laws and rules that are printed on the back of your boarding pass. You know, that's where they also tell you that, in the event they lose your luggage (which they always do), you will only get what amounts to ten cents on every dollar your precious cargo is worth. Anyway, stuffing a kid in the overhead bin is tricky because you have to get him to agree to put in his hands and feet. AND HE WON'T! So you could get sued big time for smashed fingers and smushed toes!
Finally, I don't care how you spin it, but tossing a kid out of a plane is not going to look good in court. I don't care how good of a lawyer you get. Sure, the picture that I gave you yesterday was pretty funny, but look at this shot, taken approximately thirty seconds later. Look at the terror on this little sweetum's face! On the other hand, it sends a strong message to the other kids on the plane. I'll bet no one else dares to wake you up by trying to pull out your eyeball. Am I right or am I right?

So cast your ballots carefully, my friends. The decisions you make today could affect the way you look at things the rest of your life. The correct entry will be revealed tomorrow!!!! I promise it will be a big surprise!