Uproar Over Lindbergh Comment Continues

Anonymous sources today continued to express outrage over last week's comments by Nutsobad Airlines CEO Oliver Klozov, despite the fact that the target of those comments has vowed to put the matter behind him. During a speech before the Airline Satisfaction Society (ASS), Nutsobad CEO Klozov compared Insult Airlines CEO Haigh Lee Ahphended to Charles Lindbergh, saying that both men had a great impact on the history of air travel. Though the comments appeared to be relatively benign and actually complimentary, Insult Airline staffers, none of whom would reveal their names, expressed outrage, accusing Klozov of sending out an "invitation to kidnap and murder."

"Many of us still remember the Lindbergh kidnapping-murder and how horrible it all was for the country," said one Insult Staffer, identified as Mr. X. "To resurrect Lindbergh's name is tantamount to bringing up the kidnapping and murder and to associate that with our CEO -- that's just begging some psychopath to come forward and work his diabolical ways on our leader and his family. Klozov should be shot!"

Yesterday, Ahphended issued a statement, saying that he did not believe that Klozov wished him or his family any ill will.

"The comments were unfortunate," said Ahphended. "Very, very unfortunate. Sometimes when you are under the kind of pressure that occurs in this business, the wrong thing slips out. In this case, my colleague, Mr. Klozov, CEO of Nutsobad Airlines, our chief competitor, simply invited every mental case out there to come and murder me and my family -- and my dog. I have forgiven him for his horrible remark which I'm sure he made only because he's probably suffering from some mental illness."

Ahfended followed his remarks by releasing medical records from his personal physician, Dr. Pai Dolf. Ahphended claims the records show that, unlike, Klozov, he suffers from no mental illness and is not prone to kidnapping, torturing, or murdering little children.

"Just unfortunate," said Ahphended, for the two hundredth time. "These comments have no place in our business where mothers and fathers need to be able to trust us not to kidnap and murder their children."

Yesterday, Nutsobad's stock fell sharply, to under $.01 a share. Insult's stock rose from $2.00 to $10.00 on news that the airline had essentially taken away all of Nutsobad's customers during the Memorial Day Holiday Weekend.

"Despite the horrible remarks made by Nutsobad's CEO, which I forgive, we had a good weekend," said Ahphended. "But let's not dwell on this controversy anymore. Let's give it a rest at least until the July 4th holiday. If people are still worried about Nutsobad Airlines then, we'll issue another statement about how unfortunate the comments were and how scared people are about flying on an airline that advocates kidnapping, torture and murder."

[Above: Another artist rendering of what Klozov was allegedly insinuating during his ASS speech, i.e. kidnapping innocent children at gunpoint: Sketch courtesy Insult Air Art Department]